Desperate Love
by Juunigatsu
Summary: Raven x Van with slight Shadow x Zeek. Shounen-ai (boy x boy romance love) EXTREMELY lengthy one-shot. If I could write to the best of my abilities, this would be it. I considered this to be my best work. Constructive reviews please.


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Notes: This story has been inspired to me when I was extremely sulky and I had this urge to smash glass bottles against the walls.

Why I'm sulky? Bah it's due to some insolent writers whose high ideas just pissed me off…(They know who they are!)

Anyway, the pairing is Raven x Van with some slight Shadow x Zeek *_snerks._* It's shounen-ai, which it's the tame form of yaoi. This means that this fic contains boy x boy very cute romance. I'm not good at writing "smut", I'll leave that to other writers who are good at that. : P Happens to be one-shot because I suck at multi-chaptered fics. : P

The timeline is about a few months after the GF series has ended and there no more wars…I give it 5 months. Good enough?

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Desperate Love

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I am left here

Sad and broken

All alone 

So I sing by myself

Singing about how I drove myself

To madness

Because of my hurtful memories of the past (*)

"That won't leave me…" Breathes Raven off-key.

Light snow is falling out of the black night sky. In the middle of a small yet desolate park, Raven lies on a huge pile of icy snow on the ground. He spread his arms and legs wide in a limp, listless position. Despite that the temperature is below zero and it was freezing like hell, he wears no jacket or any warm apparel to protect him from it. Frightfully the cold doesn't seem to bother him at all. 

"The snow that falls from the dark, black clouds covers my beloved stars today…" He whispered poetically to Shadow. "So we won't see them tonight."

Shadow looks after his companion worriedly. In a language only he and his master understand, he wearily reply, "Raven, master please get yourself together. If you put yourself in this situation furthermore you're going to die."

"I want to die." He said flatly. The organoid groans worriedly as Raven continues, "I want to die slowly and pitifully in my despair because I deserve it…for all the sins that I had done."

"Raven that is all over. You've been going like this for months, reminiscing in the past. Have you ever think it's enough?"

Raven sunk in his memories and reflected, all the people that he had associated with in the past…Hiltz is dead. Prozen is dead and the war is over ever since. Reese, that annoying, clingy Zoidian witch, has left him out here to rot because she couldn't take him and his depression. It's too much for her and soon she started to feel that Raven is a worthless good for nothing and she just simply abandoned him without saying a word. Good riddance well at least now he knows that Reese never really loved him that deeply like he believed anyway. And to think that he has some slight thoughts to look in her direction…what a fool he was to have thoughts like that. 

Her abandonment of him just justifies that she just a cold hearted witch who only cares on how he could help her wreak vengeance on her enemies. She never really cares about him, she just USED him for her own cause. Now that he proved he is use-less and powerless, Reese lost all respect for him.

Raven hates being used. Throughout his life he is always been used as a tool of destruction and has never been regarded as damn human being. That's why he hated that trio of people with all of his heart. He didn't feel sorry that they're gone from his life. Those greedy, selfish bastards they deserved to die. Reese is still alive but he ill-willingly hopes that Death itself would catch up to her soon. 

He just that hoped they wouldn't have to shared the same space of Hell with him when he'll die himself.

"The scars…the painful scars will never go away." Raven shook his head weakly. He's weak from sheer hunger. "So…before I die, I'll sing out the pain that is from the throbbing of my scars. I don't care if my singing is good or bad or anybody hears it, just let it be…"

"I don't know…what I can save you from." Shadow said imply, feeling helpless that he couldn't save his master emotionally.

There is a moment of silence between them. The noises of the city and the traffic of cars can be heard faintly not so far away from the public park. The silence is adequate enough for Raven to sing once more. He licks his chapped dry lips, close his eyes and he begins to sings from his remorseful heart,

__

I'm drowning in sadness 

Falling far behind…

I feel there is just no way out 

Is there anyone there? 

Where am I? 

Shadow sighed. His depression affects him too. Being supportive as much as he can in his own (eccentric) way, he position himself beside his master and he curls up to him though Raven is apathetic and pays no heed to his concerns. The weather is slowly getting worst and the snow falls heavier. Shadow could feel the intense cold, penetrating through his metallic skin. As Raven sang on, his song is more depressing…

Insanity and loneliness 

Tear my painful heart 

Broken heart keeps on going to beat 

But it never stops bleeding (**)

"Raven…" A soft yet familiar voice calls out to him. 

Raven opens his eyes and blinks. He blinks again because his vision is blurry from his hunger. Who could be calling to him while he is in his wretched state? Very few people even knew his own name…

"Raven…" The voice calls him out again. "What are you doing here?" The person said worriedly.

"V-van?" Raven stammered. He fully recognized him now. The man stood before him, bending on his knee to meet him on the same level and staring at him with sincere concern for him in his eyes. He hasn't changed a bit since the last time he saw him five months ago.

"Long time no see." Van greeted him with a smile.

"Go away." Raven growled indignantly with a sour frown. "The last thing I want to see before I die is your damn face." 

Van is hurt by his comment. "That's no way to treat a friend…"

"Since when you get the idea that we're friends?"

"When you help me defeated the Death Saurer five months ago. After that battle, I was about to thank when you had disappeared without a trace. I had never seen you ever since and I looked everywhere trying to find you again."

  
"I'm touched." Raven said sarcastically.

"I took to the greatest lengths to search for you. I thought that a good way to find you, even during my day job is to do routine patrolling in different cities everyday. I even had to argue with my boss for the patrol job and it's pretty low job for my rank because--"

Raven cuts him off because he knew that he is going to ramble on and on forever and he's not in the mood to listen to his babblings. "Get to the damn point Van. So now you found me, what do you what to say? What do you want from a nobody, Zoid pilot has-been?"

Van croaked a bit. He does have something very important to say to him but his last words diverts him from his own actual plan. Instead he got sidetracked from it and said, "You're not a nobody Raven! You're still well known and inspiring for your skills among all the Zoid pilots out there!"

"How flattering." He said apathetically. "But I know that you're far away from the truth."

"I don't lie Raven…"

"Then why you're not telling me what **YOU** want to say from your mind?" He slightly exasperated. "Hurry now," He then mocked him. "If you're not fast enough, I'm going to die right now and when I go to hell, you and the entire world will no longer bother me anymore because I'm dead."

Van blushed but quickly he blurts out, "I, I don't want you to die Raven!"

"If you don't want me to die then why you try to kill me before?" He said much more calmly.

"That's the past Raven…but even that I don't really want to kill you. If I do hurt you, I won't leave you dying!"

"Hmph."

"If I don't care about you, why would I look for you now? If I don't care about you, why I'm desperate enough to pick you up right here and take you away from this place and let you live another day?"

"And why do you even care?"

"B-because I want to be your friend!"

"Friends?" He said with cynicism.

"Why don't we start all over and be friends again?"

"Ha you're bull-shitting me. Nobody wants to be friends with me and I don't need them." He said crudely.

"If nobody wants to be your friend, then I would. Even if my own friends spurns you, I'll be on your side no matter what."

Raven was silent. Finally, he tiredly said, "Even if I say no, you won't go away and leave me alone are you?"

"No. I don't even have the heart to leave you here."

Raven sighed. "Alright, I give up. I'll go with you but I have a few conditions."

"And what's that? I'll do anything, just don't go and die like this."

Raven can't help but to tug a winsome smile. "Anything I asked for?"

"Anything."

Hmmm, he thought silently to himself. Actually he hadn't thought of conditions yet but since he said anything it makes it a lot more easier to ask. "Okay, one you'll do anything exactly what I said. Two if you don't do anything right that please me or shall you complain, I'm free to bashed you. Three you pay everything. I don't have any money you know? Lastly, I'm free to leave you after 24 hours of being with you. After 24 hours I'll leave you and you in your part, you'll leave me alone. Agree?"

Van didn't hesitate and immediately "Yes." 

"Alright I'm game." 

He rises from the pile of snow and he wipes the snowflakes from his brown, tattered tunic. His body is very wet from the melted ice and he shook the rest of the excessive snow it off from his black hair. He shudders and shivers realizing that he is now starting to feel the extreme cold. Shadow, uncurls himself, being relieved and happy to finally see his master having finally come at last to at least some of his senses.

"The pact starts…" He moves his dark eyes at a nearby clock. He spot one above a drug store and it says, "Now, right at 8:00 pm."

"Okay…so now what?"

Raven smiled wryly. "Give me your jacket. I am damn cold!" 

"But it's my only jacket!" He whines.

Raven squinted his eyes and glared at him in annoyance. "Fool!" He smacks him across his nose with his finger. 

(A/N: Much like what Uncle did to Jackie Chan in the cartoon series "_Jackie Chan Adventures_." ^_^)

"Ow that hurt!" He whined.

"Already you forgot our pact and conditions? The reason for that is because you've displeased me, so I smacked you in punishment."

Van sighed and he strip himself of his jacket and hand it over. Raven puts it on and smiled contentedly. 

"Ah much better! I'm feeling warm already!"

Van shivered hard from the cold winds. "Now what?"

"I'm hungry. Take me to a fancy restaurant, I'm in the mood for some luxurious meal."

"Oh no…"

"What, you have a problem with that?"

"Ah no but this is going to hurt my wallet…" Van said honestly and he flushed red.

Raven chuckled. "You're lieutenant which it's a very high rank in my opinion and you got a high paying salary. I'm sure that I'm not asking to much." 

"Well if that's what you want…"

"Then what are we waiting for?" He grabs his wrists. "Let's go! I'm soooo hungry!" 

He drags Van through the ground covered snow, searching and snooping for any good looking restaurant to eat in and found a nice appealing Chinese one. He proclaim that he is in the mood to eat Chinese cuisine.

"I want noodles. I haven't have delicious noodles for ages!" He said cheerfully but then raves, "I've been surviving on Cup Noodles ™, Ramen Noodles ™ and begging food from strangers! Yuck I really hated doing that, that is why I dreamed to dine here." 

Van now understood his reasons. He has never seen him this happy and makes his heart pounds in his chest. They went inside and asked a waiter for a seat for two near a window. It's pretty dark and dim lit inside. Other sources of light include each table with single lit candle. The waiter nods and points to one near the window and the two take a seat. Raven as he said he would, ordered a big bowl of noodles (A/N: Happens to be with seafood and you know seafood is very expensive? Heh.), other dishes with names that Van doesn't understand (their names are in Chinese) and on the top of that he even ordered expensive deserts too! 

Half of Van's wallet has been totally been wiped out and the food bill has nearly killed him. However he was surprised that Raven, like him has a huge appetite and they had ate everything. If Fiona and Moonbay were here, they would've berate them and labeled them as "PIGS!" Raven sighed contently and proclaim, "Ah my stomach is full and I'm satisfied." and he sipped his tea to washed it down. 

"Are you happy?"

"Uh-hm." Raven murmured softly. It's a positive sign so he took it as a yes.

"Is there anything else you want?"

"Hmm I'm tired and I want to sleep in a bed. Do you realized that sleeping on the plain ground is bad for my back?"

"Uh…" Uh oh Van never (or probably he does) expected that he is going to ask him for this but here it comes…

"So I was thinking…How about taking me to your house and I'll used your bed?"

"Gee I don't know…"

"What is something the matter?"

"I'm not…used to people using my stuff…"

Raven grins. "Or maybe I would like to stay in a five-star hotel and asked you to stay in an expensive, luxurious suite! Hey that's even a better idea than your house!"

"WAIT! No, no, no staying at my apartment sounds like a much better idea! You're also free to use my stuff!" Van blurts out nervously in haste.

"Hmm alright." Raven said to calm him down and he sighed in relief. "_Ha ha ha wimp."_ Raven thought in triumph.

After they paid the bill, Van lead to Raven and Shadow to his Blade Liger. Zeke was waiting for them and upon the sight of the evil duo, he growl menacingly and stood beside Van, protecting him from possible harm.

"Take it easy Zeek," Van tries to reassure him. "They are our friends for now." Zeek look at him, confused and shocked. Raven smirks silently and thought, "_Stupid organoid." _Shadow, reading his thoughts, snickered. Eventually the four of them climbs inside and Van drives them all towards home…

-----

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Place: Helic City (A/N: Ehm…dunno, just pretend okay? If its in ruins then pretend it has rebuild. Grrr I'm not good at settings damnnit, I'm good at plot developing!), Van's apartment…

Ever since Van had promoted to the rank of lieutenant, he couldn't lived in his old home in the Wind Colony with his older sister Maria anymore. Not only driving from the Wind Colony to the Republican/Imperial main central base on Zoid oil is damn expensive and the bill is through the roof but it's too far, about more than twenty miles! So Van solves this distance problem by moving to the city that is very near the main base and resides in a tiny apartment. To managed his tight budget, he choose the one that has the cheapest rent.

Sure he makes a lot of money but most of his salary goes into repairing his zoid, paying for it's parts, the high prices of oil, essentials things of living, bills and himself. He also has the damn cities taxes to blame. All of this high price of living has reduced Van back to the poor country boy like he was when he was younger.

His apartment building is pretty old and slightly shabby. He parked his Liger in a garage a few blocks away. He lead Raven inside with their organoids loyally following them behind. They went through the narrow hallways and up the stairways. With each step they climb, the wood would creak loudly with each of their steps as they climb up.

"Hey there's not even a elevator in this joint?" Raven remarked quite rudely. "I prefer going to a hotel right at this point!"

Van flushed in embarrassement. "I'm sorry…but this is all I could afford. Ever since Helic City is rebuilding and being reconstructed, living here is very high and expensive."

  
"So why live in this hole? Why not another place?"

"I don't have much choice. My workplace is closer to here and I had to be close to it. Ever since I destroyed the Death Saurer, all I ever did was work, work because people had demand a lot of me and they had always depended on me to do my duties. You could say that I'm a workacholic."

"Do you anything on your day offs?"

"I would sleep all day. After an entire of working I am dead tired."

A small feeling of sympathy stirred in Raven. "Don't you do anything for fun?"

Van was slightly caught by surprise because Raven doesn't to be the type to ask about leisure pastimes. "Why do you ask?"

"Your life sounds so dull."

"Unlike yours." Van said with slight sarcasm.

"Okay so destroying bases used to be fun but killing people is kinda of bothering me."

"Don't tell me you have a conscious."

"I do now."

"Since when?"

"These last five months…my memories are starting to haunt me."

They finally reached to Van's apartment door. Van reached inside his pocket and pulls his keys to unlock the door and they went inside. It's small yet quaint. A little messy because Van couldn't spare time to be tidy. (Actually he is just plain lazy to clean up after himself once in a while. Fiona isn't around to look after him, heh.) 

Immediately Raven made himself at home and fell asleep right on Van's bed before poor Van could say anything.

"That's my bed!"

Raven wearily flung a pillow at Van's head. 

*_bumf_ * "Hey that's uncalled for!"

"Yes it was, it's part of the pact remember? Now shut up Van, I'm so tired and I would like some sleep! For the last five months I been sleeping on concrete!"

"But…whatever happen to your own money? I doubt that you're that poor!"

"Oh…just some blue haired witch who stole my money from my bank account and she flew away with it on a broomstick." Raven sneered as he pulled up a soft, warm comforter over himself. Van search his closet for a spare blanket. 

"Blue hair…oh you mean Reese?"

"You mean forgot about her? Heh…" 

"Sort of…whatever happen to her? Why isn't she with you anymore?"

"She left me."

"Why?"

"I am no longer of any use to her cause."

"Cause?" Van sat down on a couch in the living room that is just doorway across his bedroom and he strip down to his underwear. He lies down and gets ready to sleep. The organoids curled up together near the warm heater that is steaming hotly and they too fall into sleep.

"For her revenge. I had absolutely no idea what hell she wants revenge on what she wants bleh! She never told me her reasons. All I knew is that she used me and now that I'm no longer had any use in her own terms, she dumps me like I'm worthless." Bitterly he said. " I'm glad she left me thought. Selfish bitch, she took the last ounce of my reasons to live."

"That's horrible. Besides if you look deep inside for your values, you probably think of more reasons you want to live your life?"

"Values? I had none. All my life I've been used. I'm not suppose to have values." Raven mumbles admittedly. to his ex-rival. He's not sure if it's right to be honest to him. Van has been enemy and yet he is the only person that is enough to be close to knowing himself. "Nobody cares on how I feel, they don't think I'm human.

"I care how you feel Raven." Van said softly. "I think you're too human more than you think."

"Really you think so?"

"I know so!" Van said cheerfully.

"…Good night Van" But Van was asleep before he heard that. He closed his eyes and mentally, he was thinking deeply to himself; his ideas scatter wildly all over the place:

__

"Why is he so nice to me? Why does he even wants to hang around with me? Van is hiding something and he's not telling me! Hmmm the pact will be over by 8:00 pm…I had a plan for him tomorrow. He is so uptight and lame…I'm going to loosen him up…hehehe…zzzz…"

And he smiled in his sleep.

-----

He woke up the next morning, make that very _early_ in the morning, hearing the high pitch shrill noise to an alarm. Raven, disgruntled, crack open his eyes slowly. The sky out the window is still dark and he groggily gets up and searches for the clock. It's a small digital clock and in big red numbers it says, "_5:O2 am."_

"Van!" Raven snaps. Van is already up at this hour and he is in the kitchen, tiredly preparing to make coffee. 

"Wha?" Van replies groggily, his eyes lids are half-closed.

"What are you doing up at this hour?"

"I had to get to work!" 

"At this hour? It's too early!"

Their racket stirred the organoids from their slumber. Shadow cracks open one ruby eye to see what's going on. Zeek continues to sleep on like nothing has happened.

"Well blame my boss!" Van retort. "I had to start work at 6:00 am everyday!"

"You know what? I think you work too hard…"

"Huh?"

"Have you ever had a thought of taking a day off?"

"What, no, I can't do that!"

"Why? Are you telling me you NEVER take a day off?" 

"Yes…"

"Maybe you should, just for today." Raven smirks.

"But,"

"But what?"

"My boss will be furious at me! And it's bad thing to do too!"

Raven exasperated and mockingly, "Oh Van, Van, Vanny, Van, Van, did you ever learn? Being bad is good!" 

"But--"

"You're such a goody two shoes Van, you're worrying too much! Just dump that water in the sink, don't make that coffee and go back to sleep!"

"But Fiona is going to be worried about me."

Raven snorts. "Let her be! She has get used to it, that a guy like you need some space of your own!"

"But--"

"If it makes any better," Raven said somewhat seductively and grins. "We can share the bed together."

Van blushed fiercely, "But--" 

"No more buts, Van. Go back to sleep. When we wake up, we'll go somewhere fun! I promise."

"This is so wrong, I can't do it!"

Raven smacks him playfully on the head. "Oh Van you're so strictly uptight! Have you forgotten our pact already?"

"Oh the pact…" Van said unenthusiastically. 

"Van when you're younger I remember you're so happy and cheerful. Well not anymore…I'm not so lucky to experience such a nice childhood."

"Really?"

"Today, I plan to relive my childhood as it meant to be…to be carefree and fun just like I deserve…and I want to do it with you because you look so unhappy."

"I'm sort of unhappy…" Van confessed.

"Ah we're on the same boat now nah?" (***)

"I guess…"

"Good! Now I want to go back to sleep. You should too, it's too damn early for this!"

Together they climb into the same bed, Raven tuck Van in with the comforter and quickly they fell asleep without saying a word. Shadow rolled his eyes and sighed when the brief episode between them ends and he did the same. 

They woke later in the afternoon, around 12:00 pm. There was a heck lot of fuss when Raven told Van to give up a new, spare toothbrush for him to use.

"But I just bought it!" Van cries as he took it out of the cabinet.

"Oh give up Van and don't be stingy! I need to brush my teeth! I'll buy you a new one!"

"You don't have any money!"

"When I get job, I'll pay you back!"

"Argh you're impossible!"

The organoids watch them bickering at each other in amusement but soon they got bored so they watched TV. A few minutes later, they're fighting over on who gets to go to the bathroom to shower first.

"It's my house I should go first!"

"I'm your guest! Is this a way to treat your guest!"

"Hey don't use my soap!"

"But I'm dirty!"

"Don't use too much of my shampoo!"

"My hair is dirty from the snow last night!"

Eventually both of them had been showered and cleaned. However after that they fight over Van's clothes!

"Hey get off my clothes!" Van whines.

"My own clothes are dirty, I've been the same old brown tunic for the last five months!"

"Take it to the laundry then!"

"Not today maybe later! You're so stingy Van! Just let me use your clothes for today. Besides they fit me just fine, they're baggy or anything." Raven grins and puts on a light blue t-shirt and a dark blue trousers. "Hmm I'm in the mood for the color blue." He remarks to further irritating him.

"Why you…argh!"

Raven lightly smacks his shoulder and teased. "Don't be so stingy Vanny!" 

"Don't call me that!"

"Call you what? Oh you mean Vanny? But I think it's such a cute nickname!"

"…But I don't like it!" Van blushed furiously.

"Well I do!"

"And you're being unfair!"

"And you're forgetting our pact!" 

Van groans and sighed in a submissive defeat. "Alright you win."

"Heheh always!" 

"Where are you going to take us anyway?"

Raven rummages through Van's closet to search for an extra, spare coat. He picks a light brown one that is slightly less thick than the one that Van currently wearing. 

"Hmm I was thinking of this mall that I want to go…" Raven clasp the buttons together. "But it's slightly far away so we need to travel by car."

"My car is broken down and I left it at an another garage to get it repaired."

"We'll take the bus then!"

"It will be much slower because of the snow though…"

"It'll probably be melted by now already." Raven puts on his boots. "Do you realized it got warmer by now?"

"Yeah it's almost spring."

"The weather is crazy here! One time it was snowing, the next it was hot like it's going to be summer!" 

"Ready to go?"

"Wait a minute." He went to Van's bedroom to fetch something."

"What are you doing?"

"Getting sunglasses." When he found them and comes out, he dons them and smirks. "How do I look?" (****)

"Can we go now?" Van sighs with impatience.

"Yeah lets go. Shadow come along now!" 

"C'mon Zeek, you too." The two organoids reluctantly turns off the TV and get off the couch. They hadn't finished their new favorite show yet!

"You two need exercise!" Raven berates them.

Outside, snow that was left on the streets are the remains from small blizzard from last night. Because of the slightly warm temperature in the air, the ice slowly melts into water and most of the snow are a ugly black color. Raven leading Van, followed by Shadow and Zeek, walk down a few blocks to a bus stop and waited for he bus number that they need to take. 

They didn't had to wait too long for the bus to come. When they board the bus and pay the fare, the bus driver stared at the organoids with disbelieving. 

"What's the matter sir?" Raven queries him, slightly glaring him through his sunglasses. "Do we had to pay the fare for them too?"

"I…uh…" The driver is speechless and dumbfounded. "I think so."

"Okay fine then. Van?"

Van makes a small piqued sound in resentment but nevertheless he opens his wallet to pay. They walk down the aisle to the back of the bus as it resumes to move and hums in motion, seeing that there is nobody taking a seat there. The space it's large enough for all of the four of them to sit together. 

As the bus rides on, they watch the buildings passing by from the windows. Shadow and Zeek amused each other by communicating in a language that Raven and Van doesn't understand. Van took notice that Shadow and Zeek grew very friendly together and grew quite close. This had thinking to himself and quietly he wonders:

__

"What happens when the 24 hours were up? Our pact would be over by then and Raven would leave me! I don't want him to leave me…"

Raven noticing at the corner of his eye that Van is slightly blushing but then again Van is always easily red in the cheeks.

"Thinking about something Van?" He took off his glasses quite seductively to reveal his alluring dark yet illuminating eyes.

"Huh?" Van is slightly startled. "Oh no, it's nothing!"

"I could tell that there is something in your mind…" He leans closer to him, close enough that their nose is barely touching. "Because you're blushing."

Van jerk his head to another side, away from Raven's direction to look in the opposite window.

"I'm telling you Raven, it's nothing! I had nothing to hide."

"Fine Van, be that way!" Raven pouts and thought, _"Just like last night! You had something important you want to tell me but then suddenly you're hiding it! I know that you're hiding your secret from me and I'm going to find out today!"_

It's an unexpectedly long ride but finally Raven told them to get off at their destination. As the bus leaves them behind, Raven points out at the area where they were going.

"That's where we'll be going for all day today!" 

"Wow it's a large mall complex!" Van said. (*****) It's a large building that is big enough to fit in more than 30 or perhaps 50 of the his apartment building. It's has tunnels high up in the sky to connect to even more complex malls that is right across the streets. It's awfully crowded with people hustling and bustling briskly.

"When I was younger, I was wandering with the GenoSaurer, I came across this place and hang out here in secret."

"Why in secret?"

With bitterness, Raven continues, "Prozen forbids me to have any fun. He is a control freak. He believes that if I keep playing I'll stop paying attention to him. He's afraid that if I stop helping him and leave him altogether, he would never get what he wants…"

"Which it's the Zoid's Eve."

"Yes. Little by little I try to be free from him and I would escape to hide in there. However one day he soon found me and immediately he punish me harshly." He scowls. "You insolent, naughty boy! Prozen said to me and he would be yelling at me, slapping me on my face hard over and over again until I get bruises. He then forbade me to have any sort of fun and ever since he trains me like a freaking animal."

"Raven…" Van said sympathetically and he reach out to squeezed affectionately on Raven's shoulder. Shadow sighs and Zeek whines.

With more cheerfulness, Raven smiles, "Well that's all past now. That's was about 6 or 7 years ago. Well here I am again and this time I can walk freely without fear. What's even more better is that you here with me!"

"Yeah."

Raven took the Van's hand off of his shoulder and gently pulled it. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

They cross the street and walk right to the huge glass entrance. Inside they can see thousands of different types of shops squeezed and packed right next other on different floor levels. There is about six levels, including the bottom lobby and the basement.

"So what you want to do?" Van asks him.

"Well I'm hungry! How about you?"

"What you want for lunch?"

"I want pizza! I spot a Pizza Hut ™!" (******) He points one that was visible downstairs.

"Pizza sounds like a good idea."

They went the escalator, dine in and pig out. Shadow and Zeek, doesn't have the ability to eat organic food, went to the nearest arcade and duke each other out by playing fighting type games. When Van pays the check bill and tips the waiter, Raven suddenly suggests they should watch a movie in the theater complex. He leads the group to its location and upon arrival they look up timetables to help them make their decision what to watch.

"Have you seen Lilo and Stitch yet?" (*******) Raven ask Van. "Because I wanna see it."

Suddenly Van gives a quick outburst of laughter. 

Curious Raven ask, "What's so funny Van?" 

Van stop abruptly by his questioning and cough a little, "Sorry but you don't seem like the type to watch cartoons."

"Well the other movies are not my type and I'm in the mood to watch cartoons."

"Do you like cartoons?"

"Heh I love them! Whether it's Disney or anime, I love to watch it when I was very small…but I never seen them again after my parents died and I was taken by Prozen."

"I see. Well we had to get in line to get the tickets. It's going to start in 10 minutes."

The movie turns out really good. Despite the weird title, it was funny. During the movie Van was surprised to see Raven laughing with mirth. Even Shadow giggled with glee. In the dark he smiled to himself. He feels good that he is the one who makes Raven happy. He wishes he could be his happiness and to be happy with him for a long time…he check his watch. It was now 3:24. It's going to all over by 8:00 tonight…he grimace.

When the movie was over (It's now 4:10 ), they walk out the theater and Raven was raving out his thoughts on the movie.

"Ha, my favorite part is when Stitch says , "_Blue bush buggy!"_

"What's so funny about?"

"The way he says it."

"You're so weird."

Raven cracks a grin. "And you're so lame! Hey I just got an idea!"

"What?"

"Let's go shopping! I need some new clothes. You think I like it that I borrow your clothes? I can't do it forever and besides your clothes are so tacky!" 

Shadow cackled under his snout while Zeek scratches his head.

"Oh okay!" Van blushed, mortified by his comment about his taste in fashion but he said brightly. "Just nothing expensive okay?"

"Good! Let's go!" He grabs Van wrist and drags him to the men clothes department. Luckily he chooses to buy practical things like t-shirts, some sweaters for winter ,jeans and shoes and they're not highly expensive. He spent a long time trying them on in the fitting rooms to see if they're the right fit. The last item he picks are sunglasses.

"Why you want sunglasses Raven?"

"Makes me look good." He then dons his own sunglasses (********) and give the one he borrowed from Van back to him. "Why do you think? Do I look good?"

Van blushed slightly and fumbles, "You look okay!"

"That's all?" He leans close to Van once more just like he did back when they're on the bus. "Not cool, not awesome or not even handsome?" 

Van face reddened even more. "…Well I uh…well yeah sure!"

Raven cocks an eyebrow and he then pulls back away from him and he took off his glasses to put it in his shopping bag. "Oh Vanny sometimes you're so clueless!" _And you're not being truthful to me again aren't you? Pitiful, you're not hiding your secrets from me so well…I can read you through your mind because you're so transparent. You can't keep it from me too long…because I'm going to find out today!_

"Let's go the playground upstairs!" Raven suddenly suggest. "I want to play video games!" (*********)

Van sighed. This is going to totally wiped his wallet clean…

The playground that is on the top floor is actually a series of arcade games, game machines and kiddies ride for children. It's like a huge ground of games to play and hence the name the playground. It was a huge floor because the kiddies ride includes a merry go-round carousel, a ferris wheel and small water tunnels. (A/N: Actually the kiddies rides are dull and lame, we're all adults here right? So we go to the arcade then! : P) Raven and Van spend hours upon hours beating the heck out of each other playing different genres of games, while Shadow picks on Zeek as his sparring partner. 

Time passes by so quickly. (It's now 6:40) Van wallet is completely wipe out and they couldn't play any more games. Van has only enough money to pay the bus fare to go back home. 

Raven moans, "Argh I feel so sick staring at the screens. I feel so drained."

"Hey Raven I'm out of money. I only had enough to go back home."

"Aw well. Let's go then."

They took the bus again to go back home but it's rush hour at this point. The traffic is so jammed and going back home seems like it's almost impossible because Van's apartment is so far away. They past the time by either looking out the window in silence, playing oral words games along with their organoids or simply just talk quietly among themselves and the past. It seems that the more they communicate, the better they had like each other and bonded fast.

It's finally 7:55 pm, when they were outside in front of Van's apartment building, sitting on the steps next to each other with the organoids behind them, and watching out at the stars. 

"It's going to be 5 minutes until the pact is over…" Van said. "And when it does you're free to leave me…"

"Just to let you know…I like being your friend Van."

"Really?"

"Yeah I like being with you and I had good time today too."

"Yeah me too."

"When I'm with you…I can be myself. It's something that I couldn't do for years when I'm with Prozen, Hiltz and Reese." 

"I'm glad you feel that way."

"Why you sound sad Van? Aren't you happy?"

"I am."

"You know today I planned to make you be happy. Van I want to be the cause of your happiness."

"Me too and I want to be your happiness too."

Van takes a look at his watch. It's 7:59.

"Raven.." He sighed.

"What is it Van?"

"You said you want me to be happy?"

"Yes."

"Raven…I, I love you. That is why I'm so desperate to find you yesterday. I'm desperate not to leave you dying so I agree to do anything you say. I don't want you to leave me Raven even when the pact is over! I want you to stay with me." Van embraces Raven.

Raven smiled and he embraces Van back. "I'm not leaving you Van. I decided to stay."

"R-really?"

"Because I love you too."

And he proves it with a kiss. The time on Van's watch strikes exactly at 8:00pm. Shadow and Zeek smiled to each silently, knowing they would play video games with each other for a long time…they don't want to be parted from one another either.

****

- The End -

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The Asterisk notes 

* My original poetry. You steal, you go to December's hell. ^^

** The first two stanzas are from the amazing song "_Voiceless Screaming_" By X Japan

*** "Nah" is the Thai version of the Japanese "Ne!" Confused? Aw well move on.

**** Raven in sunglasses is just so…_*swoons*_ = *___*=

***** The mall complexes I imagine is from my experience of traveling to Thailand, Bangkok, visiting my relatives and going to a lot of malls! *__* I want to go to Thailand and escape the madness!

****** See above statement. I love eating in Thai, Pizza Huts ™. Yum! I'm hungry now.

******* Sorry I couldn't think of a better title than Lilo and Stitch. I really like that movie!

******** Raven wears sunglasses again!!! _*swoons and falls down*_

********* In those lovely Thai malls where I usually go to, there are huge playgrounds that is full of arcades games and kiddies ride. So yeah I used a hint of my own experiences to make up half of the story.^_^ ;

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Dedication

I would like to take this time to dedicated this fic to:

Ninetails: For stalking my live journal and making comments in it. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it!

Ravenous: For being my friend in live journal and the helpful comments.

Naomi Hunter: My muse!

Maelgwyn and Plink: For reviewing my works. I appreciate each and every one of them.

Skeyeta: For making the awesome Zoid Boys ML.

Rinon: For saying that Shadow/Zeek is a very amusing yet original thing that I had ever thought of and for giving me a sub-domain too! Coming soon: yunie.net/elsewhere/. It's going to be a shrine dedicating to Clamp stuff and my personal things! ^^

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Author's Note

I'm not sulky anymore and in fact it took me a week to finish this. I think I let off some mistakes even though I look it over and over again to reedit. I am tired and sore and I got impatient that I gave up! I had this streak of perfectionism and I hate it! Okay it took me less than a week but because one day, out of the blue my (once dead) muses are highly fired up and they make me overly hyper.

This fic is not multi-chaptered because I suck at multi-chaptered fics. I never get around to updating or finishing my own multi-chaptered fics because I can't get my inspirations and motivation altogether. I discovered that I'm better making one shot fics because I'm more happy seeing a 10 page one shot instead of a 2 page per chapter fic.

According to Microsoft Word this is 21 pages long. Yay go me! I'll edit this later when I'll be back in the business of making web pages and I'll post this in my sub-domain.

Okay I'm rambled too much. Take care everyone!

-- December

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Ps: Please when you review, make it more than 3 sentences. I hate **ONE SENTENCED** reviews.


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